Hari's Corner

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Moral Responsibility for Sale

Filed under: Humour and Nonsense by Hari
Posted on Fri, Dec 5, 2008 at 09:40 IST (last updated: Fri, Dec 5, 2008 @ 10:14 IST)

Papa Hari News Service

As a result of path-breaking research into the politics of Moral Responsibility, the Papa Hari Institute for Political Research and Analysis has developed a new form of packaged "moral responsibility" which will soon be marketed under the Papa Hari brand and available at all major stores.

Announcing the launch of the product on an experimental basis, a Papa Hari Spokesman claimed that moral responsibility would now be available in two kinds of packs: one with "resignation" and the other without. "It's obvious that the demands of moral responsibility all over the world varies considerably and so we felt that it would be a good idea to have different packages for the same product," the spokesman said.

The product with the resignation option has found favour with a large number of students in disciplinarian schools across the world. Raja (name changed to preserve anonymity), a student of a large public school known for its disciplinarian outlook has stunned authorities by being the first individual to come forward and accept moral responsibility for the global economic slowdown. In an exclusive interview to Papa Hari News Service, Raja said that he had announced his resignation from his position as a student of the school and would henceforth dedicate his free time in improving his knowledge of world economics, history and geography by playing highly educational video games like Age Of Empires and World of Warcraft online. "I think that as a representative of a future generation of world leaders, we need to start accepting responsibility for global events and improve our own knowledge in small and practical ways," he said, before heading off to his friend's home to obtain a 'cracked' version of Age of Empires III.

School boy owning moral responsibilityPrison and college hostel inmates across the world have also preferred the "with resignation" product. One group of prisoners who purchased the product have unexpectedly owned moral responsibility for the rise in shipping piracy off the Somalian coast. Said Muthu (name changed) a representative of the inmates of an obscure prison in South India, "As despicable criminals, we feel responsible for events that have occurred on the high seas and we wish to set an example to every responsible citizen out there by resigning from our positions as prisoners of this institution. We have also magnanimously decided to give up our privileges of free accommodation and food offered by the State using taxpayers' hard earned wealth in order to save costs. We will be shortly vacating our quarters."

Politicians and business leaders worldwide have also welcomed the product but were more in favour of the "without resignation" package of the product. "Owning moral responsibility for bad things that happen in this world is the greatest and noblest form of sacrifice known to mankind and should absolve us from all other kinds of responsibility. Why then is resignation necessary? It is superfluous and smacks of political opportunism," said the CEO of an automobile giant that had suffered losses for five successive quarters resulting in job cuts. "In order to compensate myself for the immense mental anguished caused by owning moral responsibility for my company's poor performance, I have decided to give myself a very reasonable raise of $10 million a year. This decision has been looked on favourably by the board of directors," he continued in a tone of utmost gravity and sincerity before heading off to the golf course to relieve his mind of the pressures of his demanding job.

The Papa Hari spokesman said that packaged moral responsibility would be priced reasonably and be available to every single tax-paying member of society. However, the last clause has reportedly caused a great deal of anguish amidst the political and business classes who feel that such unfair restrictions will most likely reduce the marketing potential of an otherwise wonderful product. The Papa Hari Marketing Research team, still working on the final phase of the product launch, has declined to offer any comment on this issue.

5 comment(s)

  1. I'd like to order a package, without, please :biggrin:
    If it is good enough for CEO's it is good enough for me!

    Comment by Tim (visitor) on Wed, Dec 10, 2008 @ 08:51 IST #
  2. Tim, you've not specified the quantity of moral responsibility you would like. If it's a big international-level issue, you would need a lot more than if it were just a domestic issue. :-P

    Comment by Hari (blog owner) on Wed, Dec 10, 2008 @ 08:56 IST #
  3. Just enough to cover me, my family and my share of the local community for now...

    Comment by Tim (visitor) on Fri, Dec 12, 2008 @ 10:22 IST #
  4. What is the last clause>?

    Comment by Shrinidhi Hande (visitor) on Fri, Dec 12, 2008 @ 16:39 IST #
  5. Tim, that will set you back only by a few million dollars. :-P

    Shrinidhi, the last clause is "tax-paying citizen" :)

    Comment by Hari (blog owner) on Fri, Dec 12, 2008 @ 22:27 IST #

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