Hari's Corner

Papa Hari News Service

Tired of the constant discrimination and gender bias in language, a group of High Thinkers in the Papa Hari Foundation has executed a complete, comprehensive search and replace program in all major dictionaries of the world, replacing the words "MAN" with "PERSON", "MEN" with "PERSONS", "HIS" with "THEIR", "SON" with "OFFSPRING" and "HIM" with "THEM" and "HE" with "THAT". Fortunately or unfortunately tthat peroffspring who did it forgot tthat "whole words only" option while doing it. Strange results have followed as can be seen below.

As a result, peroffspringy people have found that tthaty are now reading about tthat Ropersoffspring civilization in tthatirtory books. People attending MBA courses are now studying about Peroffspringageperoffspringst tthatories instead of tthat otthatr word. Sportsperoffsprings now ascribe tthatir victories to extraordinary perforperoffspringces and efforts. "It's such a great achieveperoffspringst," said one super star. Anotthatr side effect of tthat complete search and replace algorithm is that peroffsprings of tthat female sex are now referred to as woperoffspring or woperoffsprings.

"Peroffspringgo is now in great deperoffspringd ttthatir seaoffspring," said one fruit-seller in India, ratthatr irrelevantly for merely highlighting tthat odd discrepancies that have crept into tthat English language as a result of ttthatir move. Politicians, especially peroffspringsipulative ones are quite happy to turn tthat situation to tthatir advantage in various ways.

"Ttthatir move is extraordinary and totally unwarranted," said one peroffspring who can be identified as a male, "Tthat whole language is totally corrupted." On tthat otthatr hand peroffspringy people have supported ttthatir move saying that tthat language needed to be cleaned and sanitised to prevent female infanticide in rural parts of India. "Tthatre is no doubt in my mind that such a move will completely change attitudes all over tthat world," said one spokespersoffspring of tthat Papa Hari Foundation.

It is believed that tthatre are furtthatr efforts on to identify gender specific terminology in language and replace tthatm completely with gender neutral terms. Even tthat words male and female are now being sought to be replaced with something more neutral.

"Tthat language now reads more like Gerperoffspring," said one experienced linguist as a final comment.