Hari's Corner

Humour, comics, tech, law, software, reviews, essays, articles and HOWTOs intermingled with random philosophy now and then

How to write an excellent article

Filed under: Humour and Nonsense by Hari
Posted on Wed, Sep 6, 2006 at 14:08 IST (last updated: Wed, Sep 26, 2007 @ 17:54 IST)

To my mind there's only one way to write an excellent article. This tutorial will teach you how to get the desired result as seen below.
An excellent article
In particular, note that the letter "A" is upper case while all the others are in lower case. We can mix and change cases as needed but this article will not go into those details.

We will confine our discussion to assume that we're using a computer with a keyboard to write or type. There are other ways to get the same result as we'll see later on.

To achieve the above effect, you need to do the following. Instructions assume you use a "qwerty" layout keyboard. If you're using a different format, please check your keyboard manual for instructions on locating the keys.
  1. First open any text editor. Say Notepad. Make sure the editor window has the focus (Move the mouse pointer into the window region and click on it once using the left mouse button to be sure). Otherwise it will not accept input and you won't see the result of your keystrokes.
  2. First hold down the "Shift" key in your keyboard. It is the key with the letters "Shift" printed on it. It can be found on the left and right end of your "qwerty" keyboard. If you are using a different keyboard layout, consult your keyboard manual or the manufacturer.
  3. Now, while holding the "Shift" key, press the key marked with the letter "A" once. "A" is the first letter of the english alphabet. It is the first letter on the left side in the second row of alphabets (qwerty layout).
  4. Now leave the "Shift" key.
  5. Now press the key marked with the letter "N". No need to hold down the "Shift" key this time.
  6. Now to leave a spacebar, press the long bar at the bottom of the keyboard once. This will leave a space between two words. Mind you, you haven't really typed the second word yet. We'll now move on to that.
  7. Similar to how you typed the first word, locate the following keys on your keyboard and type them in this sequence. "E", "X", "C", "E", "L", "L" (again), "E", "N", "T". This forms the word (in lower case): excellent. If you get EXCELLENT instead of excellent, please check the status of your "Caps Lock" key. If the LED labelled "Caps Lock" is glowing in your keyboard, it means that all the letters you type will end up in capital letters. Press the "Caps Lock" key (located on the left end of your keyboard) once to disable this function and try again.
  8. Now leave another space. Use the spacebar key to achieve this effect (as seen earlier).
  9. Similar to how you formed the word "excellent" you can now form the word "article". To achieve this effect, locate and press the following keys once, "A", "R", "T", "I", "C", "L", "E". You should now have the word "article" in front of you.

Congratulations. You've now typed/written the words "An excellent article" in your computer. Alternatively if you so wish, you can get a piece of paper and write it out in your own handwriting as well, but that is outside the scope of this tutorial. Choose whichever method you prefer.

12 comment(s)

  1. Excellent! Brilliant humour. Thanks for a good chuckle.

    Comment by titanium (visitor) on Wed, Sep 6, 2006 @ 15:43 IST #
  2. BUT HOW DO U RITE AN EXCELLENT COMMENT????

    Comment by Dominic (visitor) on Wed, Sep 6, 2006 @ 16:00 IST #
  3. Hehehe... thanks, titanium. I get naughty like this at times. :PDominic, that's the subject matter of the next tutorial :mrgreen:

    Comment by hari (blog owner) on Wed, Sep 6, 2006 @ 16:03 IST #
  4. But where's the full stop? :mrgreen:Thanks for the laugh, Hari :lol:

    Comment by J_K9 (visitor) on Fri, Sep 8, 2006 @ 22:54 IST #
  5. J_K9, full stops are beyond the scope of the article :P

    Comment by hari (blog owner) on Sat, Sep 9, 2006 @ 08:21 IST #
  6. Hahaha! :D

    Comment by J_K9 (visitor) on Mon, Sep 11, 2006 @ 20:37 IST #
  7. Oh, and you need to update your browsers plugin... I'm using Flock 0.7.1, not Firefox 1.5.0.4 :P Hehe.

    Comment by J_K9 (visitor) on Mon, Sep 11, 2006 @ 20:38 IST #
  8. Is there a newer version of the plugin?

    Comment by hari (blog owner) on Tue, Sep 12, 2006 @ 09:10 IST #
  9. Genius!

    Comment by Tim (visitor) on Sat, Nov 17, 2007 @ 08:26 IST #
  10. Thanks Tim. If you're interested in more such "inspirational" stuff, just click on the category 'light-hearted'. :-)

    Comment by hari (blog owner) on Sat, Nov 17, 2007 @ 08:52 IST #
  11. This was very informative and helpful, as well as being easy to follow. Thank-you.

    Comment by Ernie (visitor) on Sun, Nov 18, 2007 @ 04:19 IST #
  12. Ernie, you're welcome :-)

    Comment by hari (blog owner) on Sun, Nov 18, 2007 @ 06:58 IST #

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