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Humour and Nonsense by
Hari
Posted on Sat, Jul 14, 2007 at 08:27 IST (last updated: Wed, Sep 26, 2007 @ 13:25 IST)
Papa Hari News Service
In a striking development in the now famous Cat vs. Mouse case, an out-of-court settlement was reached after days of legal wrangling, when the cat finally ate the mouse in front of his lawyers and a large crowd of onlookers and mediapersons.
A month ago, the mouse, which was said to be fighting depression as a result of being disowned by his rich aunt who had left him out of her Will, had walked up a cat and demanded that he be eaten. When the cat had refused he had danced in front of him and refused to go away when threatened with dire consequences. The mouse had persisted, with the result that the cat had sued the mouse for a sum of $1 million alleging nuisance and harrassment. The case had attracted world-wide attention as the case of "the cat who didn't eat the mouse."
Reporters from Papa Hari News caught up with the cat and managed to secure an exclusive interview on the back wall of the court where the cat was seen stretching and relaxing after the settlement. Obviously digesting the mouse, the cat was in a good mood as he answered questions related to the case. Here's a transcript of the interview.
Q: Good afternoon, Mr. Cat. How do you feel after the settlement?
A: Miaaaawwww...
Q: Thank you Mr. Cat. Would you be kind enough to tell our readers how much agony you went through during this case and what prompted you to settle on terms which benefitted the defendant more than yourself?
A: Meeeeow...
Q: That's wonderful. And finally how did the mouse taste? And what are your plans for the future?
A: Pfffft... ssssssssssss...
At this point, the cat jumped to the other side and left the scene. However, our reporters did catch up with the cat's lawyers who informed us that the cat was going back to his old house and wouldn't hold anything against the mouse's bereaved family. Stating that all that the cat desired was to be "left in peace" the lawyers said that the judge was actually going to decide in favour of the cat before the surprising settlement took place. However, after the cat had learned of the poor mouse's history and the reasons behind his intrusive actions, he had felt so bad that he had magnanimously decided to settle in terms which were favourable to his opponent. "I hope he (the cat) is not left with a bitter taste in the mouth as a result of this," quipped the clerk of the court, when pressed for his views.
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In other news, thousands of curious onlookers gathered outside the house of Mr. and Mrs. Mola when it was discovered that Mr. Mola had actually helped his wife with household chores on a day when there was an important football match scheduled on television. News of this extraordinary event had reached the offices of Papa Hari News Service through their 10-year old son. When contacted by this news service, several experts and amateurs alike advanced their own theories to explain the seemingly impossible.
Mr. Kokka, a lawyer by profession, advanced the obvious view that Mrs. Mola had probably threatened Mr. Mola with divorce proceedings in order to secure his cooperation, but neighbours quickly rubbished the theory by stating that it would take more that "a mere threat of divorce" to move Mr. Mola from his seat on that fateful day. Reactions varied slightly but most neighbours had nothing but biting contempt for this theory.
On the other hand, several media-persons speculated that Mr. Mola's favourite team had probably been receiving a severe pounding at the hands of their opponents and that had disgusted him enough to turn off the television and forced him to seek solace in mundane activity. While sounding more plausible than the first explanation, this too was dismissed as it was reliably learnt that Mr. Mola had the habit of switching loyalties in the midst of a game in order to support the team which was winning.
A few sceptics also advanced the theory that Mr. Mola was probably not a football fan and that this incident had been hyped up for the benefit of the media, but this dumb idea was quickly drowned in a sea of indignant protests.
All speculation was finally laid to rest when a Papa Hari News reporter had the brilliant idea of asking Mr. Mola himself for the reason behind his inexplicable conduct. While at first reluctant to reveal his inner secret to the world, he finally came out with the meek-sounding explanation that the game had been called off due to bad weather and that his wife had dragged him by the seat of his pants into the kitchen when he was found dozing in his sofa while the Annual Spelling Bee was being telecast on ESPN.
Several scientists who had come down to study the phenomena on the spot left unobtrusively as the crowd melted away.
8 comment(s)
Comment by Shrinidhi Hande (visitor) on Sat, Jul 14, 2007 @ 12:16 IST #
Comment by hari (blog owner) on Sat, Jul 14, 2007 @ 13:40 IST #
Comment by Logesh TamilSelvan (visitor) on Sat, Jul 14, 2007 @ 18:27 IST #
Comment by hari (blog owner) on Sun, Jul 15, 2007 @ 07:56 IST #
Comment by Sudipta Chatterjee (visitor) on Tue, Jul 17, 2007 @ 04:46 IST #
Comment by hari (blog owner) on Wed, Jul 18, 2007 @ 08:23 IST #
Comment by bren (visitor) on Wed, Jul 18, 2007 @ 10:36 IST #
Comment by hari (blog owner) on Wed, Jul 18, 2007 @ 11:04 IST #