Hari's Corner

Humour, comics, tech, law, software, reviews, essays, articles and HOWTOs intermingled with random philosophy now and then

Papa Hari Career Advice

Filed under: Humour and Nonsense by Hari
Posted on Thu, Jan 24, 2008 at 21:04 IST (last updated: Thu, Oct 30, 2008 @ 08:00 IST)

An (imaginary) reader writes in with the following question:
Dear Papa Hari,

I am a new script writer for television soap operas and serials. What advice would you give me? I currently feel very uninspired and cannot write good dialogues. How should I go about rectifying this problem?

Regards, Uninspired Writer

Dear Uninspired Writer,

The key to writing for television serials is to use 10 words where 1 would suffice. Let us take a scenario and analyze. You need to write a farewell dialogue between two characters and you need to stretch it for the last five minutes in order to conclude the episode. Most common newbies to script writing make this mistake.

Mistaken approach

Character 1: Goodbye, friend.
Character 2: Yeah, goodbye...
(Both of them shake hands and leave)

The above will not fit into a ten minute slot. Now you need to think of creative ways to extend this in even more meaningless ways as follows.

Correct approach

Character 1: Goodbye, my friend.
Character 2: Goodbye, my dearest friend. I will miss you...
Character 1: I will also miss you. You spoke truly, my friend.
Character 2: Yes, you also spoke truthfully, my friend. Truth is such a great thing.
Character 1: Isn't it? Truth is indeed a great thing.
Character 2: (Sobbing) Yes... yes... (slowly) Goodbye, and all the best...
Character 1: (Sobbing) Yes... yes... indeed. Ahh... (slowly) Aaaaaaaahhh...
Character 2: Aaaaaaaaahh... (hugs character 1)
Character 1: Ahahahahaha... my friend... goodbye...
Character 2: Goodbye... That's right. It's goodbye for now.
Character 1: Ahhhahahaha... my dear friend, you spoke so truly. It is indeed goodbye for now...
Character 2: (Slowly) So... (wiping tears) that's all is it?
Character 1: Yes, that's all...
Character 2: Do you feel sad now at our parting?
Character 1: Indeed, I do feel very sad at our parting...
Character 2: Never mind, my friend. It's not that bad, is it?
Character 1: Yes, it's not that bad.
Character 2: Good that we agree on that, my friend.
Character 1: Yes, it's a good thing isn't it?
Character 2: Then see you at the office tomorrow, my dear friend.
Character 1: Indeed, we shall meet at the office as usual, my good friend... Goodbye...
Character 2: Goodbye...

You will go far. Very far indeed. In fact, you will go extremely far in your chosen career. May God bless you and may the luck be with you. Indeed, I sincerely hope that you will be a great script writer for mega serials and soap operas on television. Once again, Papa Hari showers his blessings upon you. So do well in your careeer of choice. Indeed, you must do well to be a great script writer in the soap opera field because you need to have a way with words. It's not just the words; it's how you use them. Indeed to be a good script writer you need to say the things you keep saying again and again and again and yet again if needed. Don't just repeat for the sake of repetition - just repeat for the sake of repetition. Indeed, repetition is the key here. It is indeed a great key to success in your chosen career.

Best of luck. All the best. Good luck and may you do well in your chosen profession, career or whatever you choose to call it.

Good luck.

Regards,

Papa Hari

P.S. Bye for now :D P.P.S. Till we meet again. :p

10 comment(s)

  1. grin... :)

    that's all really- a short little comment that just says how much I appreciated this piece and how much I understand the need for brevity (or non-brevity) in everyday occurrences, particularly the fare-well ritual, and also in our chosen careers.

    Here's to expecting that everything will work out awesomely well for you, Uninspired Writer. Put Papa Hari in the Credits. Maybe even the lead ones.

    Comment by titanium (visitor) on Thu, Jan 24, 2008 @ 22:09 IST #
  2. Excellent, very well done, carefully crafted, and extended script. I couldn't have stretched it better myself if it was indeed stretchable.

    Comment by RT Cunningham (visitor) on Fri, Jan 25, 2008 @ 02:56 IST #
  3. titanium, thanks... would you like to join the Papa Hari School for Script Writing for Really Talented and Very Hardworking Prospective Scriptwriters for the Movie and Television Industry of the World and Indeed the Planet if not the Universe? (PHSSWRTVHPSMTIWIPU)?

    RT, stretchability lies in the imagination. ;-) For instance I can stretch this comment with a really long example of a sentence that can be stretched, however, I will refrain from doing so because it must be really boring to read a long comment like this one, for instance. So even though I don't want to write a long comment, you can see how much it gets stretched, merely by writing about stretching a long comment which shouldn't have been long in the first place, but short like yours. Unfortunately my comment is nowhere near as short as yours and there's a good reason for that because I keep writing about how not to write long comments but end up doing the same myself. Hope you can understand, otherwise I would have to write a longer example of a comment that can be stretched beyond imagination.

    Comment by hari (blog owner) on Fri, Jan 25, 2008 @ 13:07 IST #
  4. Can we call it MSO (Mega Serial Optimization)?

    Comment by Shrinidhi Hande (visitor) on Sat, Jan 26, 2008 @ 09:21 IST #
  5. You can call it Papa Hari Serial Optimization too (PHSO) :p

    Comment by hari (blog owner) on Sat, Jan 26, 2008 @ 12:29 IST #
  6. ok.
    Thanks for updating your blog roll with new URL of my blog even before I had to ask for it...

    Comment by Shrinidhi Hande (visitor) on Sat, Jan 26, 2008 @ 12:58 IST #
  7. Saw your comment on RT's blog and updated it immediately.

    Comment by hari (blog owner) on Sat, Jan 26, 2008 @ 13:11 IST #
  8. So good of you...

    Comment by Shrinidhi Hande (visitor) on Sat, Jan 26, 2008 @ 15:54 IST #
  9. Short and to the point, yet long and still to the point!

    Comment by Tim (visitor) on Sat, Jan 26, 2008 @ 20:44 IST #
  10. Tim, thank you kindly. :-)

    Comment by hari (blog owner) on Sat, Jan 26, 2008 @ 21:00 IST #

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