Hari's Corner

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Papa Hari's job interview tips

Filed under: Humour and Nonsense by Hari
Posted on Fri, Dec 8, 2006 at 21:32 IST (last updated: Thu, Oct 30, 2008 @ 08:08 IST)

Welcome back to another edition of Papa Hari's tips to make your life better.

This time, Papa Hari will discuss job interviews and some tips on making a good impression on the interviewer. Let us start from the top.

Dress code

The most important thing is the dress code. When you attend an interview, the first impressions you make on the interviewer count for a lot. Papa Hari recommends that you wear the following -- a pair of silky red trousers, a bright parrot green shirt, a yellow tie spotted with red dots and a pink blazer. Wearing a formal top hat and ray-ban sun glasses is highly recommended as well. After all, it's important to differentiate yourself from the rest. You will make an immediate impact on the interviewer with your neat, dignified appearance.

Your Resume

Decorate your resume with colour prints of your best holiday photos. Start with the phrase "I'm the greatest!" and use a variety of fonts, colours and styling. The more exotic the better. For instance, avoid "Times Roman" like a plague. Every other candidate uses it to the exclusion of all other fonts. Make sure that your resume speaks highly of you in every sentence. Never use the first-person. Always address yourself as "Mr. ABC is highly proficient in these areas... " and "Mr. ABC is highly trustworthy, competent and reliable." In short, your resume should be fairly sprinkled with glittering endorsements about the product that is YOU! Your confidence in yourself should communicate itself clearly to the interviewers.

Timing

It's extremely important to give the interviewer an idea of how important you are. Always walk into an interview nine and three quarters minutes late and when walking in to the interview, make sure that you're talking in your cell phone, preferably along the lines of "About that $10 million contract... wait till I get back to you. I have a meeting at the moment and I'll get back to you later." Interviewers respect important people and you immediately have something in your favour.

The most important question

The first question that an interviewer will ask you is the famous opening to any job interview -- tell me about yourself. It's necessary to frame your answer along these lines:
"Pronoun. 1) The one identical with you. a) Used reflexively as the direct or indirect object of the verb or as the object of the preposition. example: did you buy yourself a gift? b) Used for emphasis. example: you yourself were certain of the facts. c) Used in an absolute construction. example: in office yourself, you helped push the bill along. 2) Your normal or healthy condition. example: Are you feeling yourself again?" Courtesy: thefreedictionary.com
Most interviewers would be amazed at your knowledge and command over the English language.

Answering style

It's not just about answering questions correctly but also stylishly. When an interviewer asks you a question, always nod your head intelligently and say "that's a very good question. I'm glad you asked it." And while thinking about your answer, always shake your head this way and that, rub your nose, scratch your chin and roll your eyes upwards. Every little gesture counts. Act like they're the media crew and you're a celebrity giving an exclusive interview. Make sure you give them the right impression and make them feel important.

Other miscellaneous tips

Following these basic tips will ensure that you get the job and score above other candidates. Papa Hari wishes you the best of luck with your future career. (editor note: p.s. you'll need it)

8 comment(s)

  1. I think I found an error:"a bright parrot green shirt," - shouldn't there be a comma after "parrot"? And some advice on what phrases it should be trained to repeat? ;)

    Comment by Dominic (visitor) on Fri, Dec 8, 2006 @ 23:51 IST #
  2. :lol:

    Comment by hari (blog owner) on Sat, Dec 9, 2006 @ 08:55 IST #
  3. Damn! I should've known these earlier!!

    Comment by Sudipta Chatterjee (visitor) on Sun, Dec 10, 2006 @ 01:22 IST #
  4. Sudipta, it's never too late to learn, as Papa Hari often says. :mrgreen:

    Comment by hari (blog owner) on Sun, Dec 10, 2006 @ 08:23 IST #
  5. Is this your personal experience in _ _ _ _ HARI?:mrgreen:,Also write a article on ur new college HIPM:grin::lol:

    Comment by Logesh TamilSelvan (visitor) on Tue, Dec 12, 2006 @ 11:34 IST #
  6. Logeshu, it is Papa Hari's experience. :twisted: I will start a new college soon. You are the dean

    Comment by hari (blog owner) on Tue, Dec 12, 2006 @ 11:47 IST #
  7. Sweet! I will kick ass in interviews with these awesome tips :mrgreen:Cheers Hari!

    Comment by J_K9 (visitor) on Thu, Dec 14, 2006 @ 01:31 IST #
  8. J_K9, please feel free to write back to Papa Hari with your experiences. :wink:

    Comment by hari (blog owner) on Thu, Dec 14, 2006 @ 07:55 IST #

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