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Prominent Pro-Wrestling group trademarks "Terrorist"

Filed under: Humour and Nonsense by Hari
Posted on Sat, Aug 16, 2008 at 13:50 IST (last updated: Sat, Aug 16, 2008 @ 14:26 IST)

Papa Hari News Service

A prominent Professional Wrestling organization recently trademarked the word Terrorist™ and sought a patent for all clothing and accessories associated with such individuals and groups across the world. This has caused widespread dismay and consternation in the media as to how to label people and groups who indulge in spreading terror in future.

Speaking at a news conference, the owner of the federation mentioned that since the word was now officially part of their franchise, they would disallow its usage in common parlance, especially in the media. When asked how politicians, the media and citizens across the world would refer to such groups, he suggested several alternatives like "Terror Makers", "Terror Persons", "Terror Warriors", "Horrorists" and "Bad and Evil Persons".

"There are plenty of alternatives to label such people outside of pro-wrestling. We seek to restrict the usage of the word Terrorist to our industry," he explained. Explaining that a new wrestler named The Terrorist would be making his debut in the arena in the coming weeks, he said that they were already running back-stage promotions with a mysterious masked Asian fighter carrying a machine-pistol in his hand, scaring other wrestlers and divas in the locker rooms. In the time-honoured tradition of the Professional Wrestling industry, The Terrorist would be a bad guy with an attitude, mouthing off anti-American slogans to get a rise out of the crowds and generally indulging in foul play tactics like bashing his opponent's head with a steel chair and other assorted objects when the referee was looking the other way, to win a match. The Terrorist would also randomly bash up referees and officials who decide against him or discover his cheating. The crowds would naturally be expected to boo such an undesirable character. His finishing move would be called "The Suicide Bomb", a modified version of a power-bomb (a commonly-used move which only leads to a 3-count pin victory when used as a finishing move by the wrestler in question.)

The owner also mentioned that they had sought a trademark for the term Axis Of Evil for the name of a tag team which would consist of The Terrorist and another bad guy as a partner. "The concept Axis of Evil really suits the wrestling industry. It has a sinister ring to it," said the owner. Explaining the idea, he continued, "This stable will be the most evil and terrible force in the whole of our promotion, striking fear and terror into the hearts of opponents and using dirty tricks to win matches." When asked how the United States government would now label the unholy alliance of terror-making nations that threatened democracy and justice, he suggested alternatives like "Axis of Bad", "Axis of Wicked" and "Axis of Not-Nice" countries.

Many critics of the pro-wrestling industry claim that the whole thing is a fraud perpetrated on the public. American President George W. Bush, when asked for his opinion on the trademarked names said "We will bring all Terrorists to justice!" When asked to clarify whether he was referring to terror makers or to the pro-wrestler, he responded with confusion.

In other news, a prominent terror-making group has sought a trademark on the word Freedom Fighters to prevent its misuse for propaganda purposes. Many media giants like BBC, CNN and Fox have expressed disappointment at these developments.

8 comment(s)

  1. Poor George. He gets no sympathy whatsoever. :>>

    Comment by RT Cunningham (visitor) on Sat, Aug 16, 2008 @ 22:09 IST #
  2. I think he wouldn't be exempted from the trademark violations, would he? :D

    Comment by hari (blog owner) on Sat, Aug 16, 2008 @ 22:17 IST #
  3. Heh.

    You know, with all this IP rights brouhaha, something like this may not be all that far-fetched very soon!

    Comment by Anand Ramachandran (visitor) on Mon, Aug 18, 2008 @ 07:32 IST #
  4. Anand, I just realized that there was actually a professional wrestler called "Terrorist", who later became one of the "Nasty Boys" in the WWF. :D

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brian_Knobbs

    Comment by hari (blog owner) on Mon, Aug 18, 2008 @ 09:01 IST #
  5. I've already got copyright on 'horrorist'!

    Comment by Tim (visitor) on Wed, Aug 27, 2008 @ 06:06 IST #
  6. Tim, you've not. The Papa Hari World Government has rescinded your rights on that word. :>>

    Comment by hari (blog owner) on Wed, Aug 27, 2008 @ 08:52 IST #
  7. This does sound like something Vinnie Mac would try. Fortunately, we Canadians prevented him from calling a character "The Mountie" back in the late '80s (he and his partner instead became the Quebecers, which was much better).

    Comment by Ernie (visitor) on Wed, Sep 10, 2008 @ 07:07 IST #
  8. Ernie, I remember a guy called the Mountie in WWF. I also remember the Quebecers. :))

    Comment by hari (blog owner) on Wed, Sep 10, 2008 @ 09:04 IST #

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