Hari's Corner

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The 30-second Idiot Test

Filed under: Humour and Nonsense by Hari
Posted on Tue, Oct 30, 2007 at 11:10 IST (last updated: Tue, Oct 30, 2007 @ 16:10 IST)

Papa Hari News Service

Concluding a path-breaking research probing deep into the human mind's innermost secrets, the Papa Hari Brain Research Foundation has finally revealed a 30-second "Idiot Test" which would conclusively prove whether a person is an idiot or not. Far simpler, far more accurate and more technologically advanced than any other IQ test devised by man, this test goes to the root of all human behaviour - perception and self-analysis.

"This is one of our major achievements," said a Papa Hari Research Foundation spokesman at the press conference revealing details of the research, "This new Test is not only simple, it requires no computational algorithms, no equipment, no calculations, nothing except the participant's answer to a simple question. It has been translated in all major languages of the world and can be administered to anybody from a mere child of 5 years to an octogenarian. It relies heavily on the principle that underlies all human psychology, namely 'You are what you think you are.'"

Releasing a 400-page white paper analysing the impact of sample test results conducted by the foundation on 500 volunteers, the spokesman further said that this Test has proven to be 99.5% accurate on the volunteer group and expects an overall success ratio of 99% when conducted in an uncontrolled environment. Saying that the Test required no "mathematical or analytical ability" he said that it was meant for all people, not just the educated folk. "Very simply, to take this test, you have to answer just one simple question:

"Am I an Idiot? (Yes/No)

"By answering 'Yes' or 'No' to this question, you are fully aware of whether you are an idiot or not. There is no necessity for peer review, although such a review might provide an extra input for analysis. It is based entirely on the individual's perception of his own levels of intelligence which is just about as conclusive as any other sophisticated or complex IQ test out there in the market. And the results have proved extremely positive."

Idiot Test result

"Candidates who took this test were chosen at random and administered the test in a controlled environment free of external disturbances. Within 30 seconds they had to submit the feedback forms. Writing down their names and addresses took longer than answering the question," continued the spokesman with a smile as he revealed the sample test results. "The whole scientific community has been taken by storm at the long-term implications of this revolutionary research."

When asked for reactions, members of the international scientific community were divided on the validity of the test. "Certainly it appears to be a foolproof and extremely simple test, but we have to take the subjective bias into account when evaluating the results. Peer review might help reflect a more accurate picture of reality as far as human intellect goes. Traditional tests are far more effective at objective determination of intellectual capacity," said a professor from Princeton University who attended the press conference. Other members of the international scientific community were far less complimentary about the techniques used by the evaluator. "Any IQ Test that does not torture the subject's intellect, does not rely on highly complex computational algorithms or does not mystify the Test subject are bunkum!" said one scholar who is currently involved advanced brain research at a renowned international university. However members of the public were extremely pleased at the new Test which gave them an opportunity at self-analysis and improvement. "Using this Test, my sons has gained immense self-confidence at school," said one father of two. He was silent when asked about what his sons' teachers thought of the results.

When asked why this Test was dubbed a "30-second Test" when it could be concluded in just 3 or 4 seconds, the spokesman explained that filling up the feedback form along with the name and other personal details of the participant took that long. Moreover it is a known fact that "some candidates require deep soul-searching" before being able to answer the question.

6 comment(s)

  1. lol.

    reminds me of the "java script idiot test": How do you know if someone is a idiot? [click here] (page colour changes) How do you know if someone is a idiot? [click here]


    oh, and: how do you keep an idiot in suspense?

    I'll tell you next week.

    Comment by titanium_geek (visitor) on Tue, Oct 30, 2007 @ 16:47 IST #
  2. oh, and: how do you keep an idiot in suspense?
    The Papa Hari Research Foundation knows the answer already, tg! :-)

    Comment by hari (blog owner) on Tue, Oct 30, 2007 @ 17:01 IST #
  3. I understand that all of Papa hari scientists have undergone this test to prove its genuine...

    Comment by Shrinidhi Hande (visitor) on Tue, Oct 30, 2007 @ 17:27 IST #
  4. Obviously, Shri! Obviously :-D

    Comment by hari (blog owner) on Tue, Oct 30, 2007 @ 17:53 IST #
  5. Guess what? I passed your test with flying colors. I am not an idiot!
    I plan on using your test format to determine if beer is good for me, and if I am a good person.

    Comment by Tim (visitor) on Sat, Nov 17, 2007 @ 07:24 IST #
  6. Thanks for dropping by with a comment, Tim. I'm checking out your blog now.

    Of course, you can use the test format... after paying a royalty of $10mn to the Papa Hari Foundation for patent rights. :-)

    Comment by hari (blog owner) on Sat, Nov 17, 2007 @ 08:10 IST #

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