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Humour and Nonsense by
Papa Hari News Service
The Papa Hari Foundation Dedicated to Making Money Offline as Opposed to Online (PHFDMMOOO) held a seminar today on "Making Money Offline." Drawing a huge response from the young generation of internet-savvy kids, the seminar was a big success. Each of the different aspects and methods of making money offline were discussed by leading experts in the field.
"It was really cool, the way they taught us how to make money, like getting a job or starting a business," spoke a teenager wearing a T-Shirt with the words 'World of Warcraft Rocks!', "I never knew we could earn money in such ways, dude!" His friend agreed enthusiastically. "I always though most people made their money by selling advertising on websites or placing Google AdSense on their blogs, man! Wow... there's a real world out there. Thanks to this seminar I know that I can step out of my bedroom and still earn a lot."
Many experts who attended the seminar also agreed that one of the safest ways to make money offline was to get a regular, boring nine-to-five job. "Starting a business has its own risks, but staying in a job is the best way to make money regularly."
Outlining the steps needed to get a job, the Papa Hari Foundation Speaker said that you needed to have the right skills and qualifications and then send your credentials to different companies who will then interview and hire you if you are a suitable candidate. Otherwise, he said, you could take a loan and start a small business. An authoritative expert on making money offline said "If you really want to get rich quick, you need to resort to unethical means like stealing, counterfeiting, defrauding the public, evading tax, robbing a bank, kidnapping for ransom or becoming a celebrity. I'm not recommending those techniques, because they do carry the risk of attracting penalty from the law-enforcement agencies, but they do make you rich fairly quickly." Many youngsters in the audience were extremely interested in counterfeiting and forgery, since it was literally about 'making money' but were very disappointed when they learned that it was not legal.
"Who are the Government to tell us what is legal and what is illegal?!" fumed an angry young lady, "They're acting just like Google these days: interfering, always breathing down our necks and telling us how to live our lives... and what the hell is this thing about Income Tax? That's a ridiculous concept."
Other techniques of making money offline discussed during the seminar were dabbling in the stock market, road-side begging, gambling and betting. "Each of these methods have their own advantages and disadvantages, risks and opportunities. It is up to the individual to select the method and then implement it," said the Papa Hari Foundation Speaker later at the press conference, "We certainly do not recommend resorting to illegal methods of making money, though, since those would attract severe punishment from the Law. But within the acceptable methods of making money offline, there are infinite possibilities." But what would the experts ultimately recommend to most people looking for a safe way to make money? "Get a job."
Most of the young people who attended the seminar seemed to be dissatisfied. Quipped one, while leaving, "It seems that hard work, intelligence, luck, determination and dedication are essential aspects of making money without too much risk. It's highly disappointing." Before a reporter could ask him another question, he quickly excused himself by saying that he had to get back home to his website editing as soon as possible in order to optimize his AdSense placement and keywords.
Posted on Wed, Feb 6, 2008 at 12:04 IST (last updated: Wed, Feb 6, 2008 @ 12:04 IST)