The Make Money Offline Seminar

Filed under: Humour and Nonsense by Hari
Posted at 12:04 IST (last updated: Wed, Feb 6, 2008 @ 12:04 IST)
Papa Hari News Service

The Papa Hari Foundation Dedicated to Making Money Offline as Opposed to Online (PHFDMMOOO) held a seminar today on "Making Money Offline." Drawing a huge response from the young generation of internet-savvy kids, the seminar was a big success. Each of the different aspects and methods of making money offline were discussed by leading experts in the field.

"It was really cool, the way they taught us how to make money, like getting a job or starting a business," spoke a teenager wearing a T-Shirt with the words 'World of Warcraft Rocks!', "I never knew we could earn money in such ways, dude!" His friend agreed enthusiastically. "I always though most people made their money by selling advertising on websites or placing Google AdSense on their blogs, man! Wow... there's a real world out there. Thanks to this seminar I know that I can step out of my bedroom and still earn a lot."

Many experts who attended the seminar also agreed that one of the safest ways to make money offline was to get a regular, boring nine-to-five job. "Starting a business has its own risks, but staying in a job is the best way to make money regularly."

Outlining the steps needed to get a job, the Papa Hari Foundation Speaker said that you needed to have the right skills and qualifications and then send your credentials to different companies who will then interview and hire you if you are a suitable candidate. Otherwise, he said, you could take a loan and start a small business. An authoritative expert on making money offline said "If you really want to get rich quick, you need to resort to unethical means like stealing, counterfeiting, defrauding the public, evading tax, robbing a bank, kidnapping for ransom or becoming a celebrity. I'm not recommending those techniques, because they do carry the risk of attracting penalty from the law-enforcement agencies, but they do make you rich fairly quickly." Many youngsters in the audience were extremely interested in counterfeiting and forgery, since it was literally about 'making money' but were very disappointed when they learned that it was not legal.

"Who are the Government to tell us what is legal and what is illegal?!" fumed an angry young lady, "They're acting just like Google these days: interfering, always breathing down our necks and telling us how to live our lives... and what the hell is this thing about Income Tax? That's a ridiculous concept."

Other techniques of making money offline discussed during the seminar were dabbling in the stock market, road-side begging, gambling and betting. "Each of these methods have their own advantages and disadvantages, risks and opportunities. It is up to the individual to select the method and then implement it," said the Papa Hari Foundation Speaker later at the press conference, "We certainly do not recommend resorting to illegal methods of making money, though, since those would attract severe punishment from the Law. But within the acceptable methods of making money offline, there are infinite possibilities." But what would the experts ultimately recommend to most people looking for a safe way to make money? "Get a job."

Most of the young people who attended the seminar seemed to be dissatisfied. Quipped one, while leaving, "It seems that hard work, intelligence, luck, determination and dedication are essential aspects of making money without too much risk. It's highly disappointing." Before a reporter could ask him another question, he quickly excused himself by saying that he had to get back home to his website editing as soon as possible in order to optimize his AdSense placement and keywords.

18 comment(s)

Leave a comment »
  1. "If you really want to get rich quick, you need to resort to unethical means like stealing, counterfeiting, defrauding the public, evading tax, robbing a bank, kidnapping for ransom or becoming a celebrity."

    LOL! Very good- subtle yet hilarious. :)

    Comment by titanium (visitor) on Wed, Feb 6, 2008 @ 15:41 IST #
  2. Thanks, titanium geek. Glad you enjoyed it. :-)

    Comment by hari (blog owner) on Wed, Feb 6, 2008 @ 17:22 IST #
  3. Pure genius!
    Maybe I should try one of those 'job' things.

    Comment by Tim (visitor) on Thu, Feb 7, 2008 @ 00:22 IST #
  4. You're welcome, Papa Hari, for your use of me as a live test subject for this research. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to get back to work...

    Comment by MrCorey (visitor) on Thu, Feb 7, 2008 @ 05:51 IST #
  5. Awesome!! LMAO!! :D:D

    Comment by Francois Planque (visitor) on Thu, Feb 7, 2008 @ 08:03 IST #
  6. Thanks, tim. :=)

    MrCorey, are you going back to your online or offline work?

    Francois, nice to see you here. Thanks and glad you liked it :=)

    Comment by hari (blog owner) on Thu, Feb 7, 2008 @ 08:20 IST #
  7. When is the next seminar???? You should have told us before...

    Comment by Shrinidhi Hande (visitor) on Thu, Feb 7, 2008 @ 15:02 IST #
  8. I'm sorry, but I no longer have time for online work. I'm far too consumed by the offline work...

    Comment by MrCorey (visitor) on Thu, Feb 7, 2008 @ 15:06 IST #
  9. I'll thank you to leave my AdSense out of this, Hari. That's my job, man!

    Comment by RT Cunningham (visitor) on Thu, Feb 7, 2008 @ 15:34 IST #
  10. Shrinidhi, the next seminar will be on a different topic. God and Papa Hari knows what it will be about. :-)

    MrCorey, what about your offer as a test subject for the research? :p

    RT, I'll leave AdSense and take up AdNonSense next time.

    Comment by hari (blog owner) on Thu, Feb 7, 2008 @ 17:59 IST #
  11. hahaha... I heard rumor of money being made this way but always thought it was an old legend made up by our forefathers to scare us into learning SEO. No need to panic as I am sure it is just a myth...

    Priceless!

    Comment by Grizzly (visitor) on Mon, Feb 11, 2008 @ 07:57 IST #
  12. Grizzly yes, it's a legend, I tell you. It's all jealousy, pure jealously :-p

    Comment by hari (blog owner) on Mon, Feb 11, 2008 @ 08:16 IST #
  13. dont wanan miss that seminar anyway frontrow seats can be reserved? *wink*:>>

    Comment by debbie (visitor) on Sat, Feb 16, 2008 @ 14:37 IST #


  14. Comment by Ray smith (visitor) on Tue, Mar 18, 2008 @ 13:09 IST #
  15. Dear Mr. Ray Smith,

    No my website is not relevant to your site as mine is not about sweepstakes. You can feel free to remove my URL if you like.

    This article is a parody :>>

    Comment by hari (blog owner) on Tue, Mar 18, 2008 @ 13:16 IST #
  16. Making Money Offline may a good seminar but the thing is that do you get time to offline work. If it is possible then it is too good. I do not think that all youngsters are dissatisfied.

    ==================
    peter
    Did you see it? One more time? You won't get faked out here!

    Comment by peter (visitor) on Fri, Jul 25, 2008 @ 14:33 IST #
  17. Mr. Peter, I've given your comment the benefit of doubt but your link has been removed. I don't want unsolicited advertising links on this blog.

    Comment by hari (blog owner) on Fri, Jul 25, 2008 @ 14:50 IST #
  18. lol! i guess it can be done provided that you are also good in hiding! :-D
    anyway, easy come, easy go and so its better to work to earn the money, and besides its sweeter hen you get it from hard work.
    nice article...interesting!

    Comment by mindrich (visitor) on Fri, Aug 20, 2010 @ 17:27 IST #

Leave a comment

First-time comments on this blog are moderated.
Your name*
Email ID*
(wont' be published)
Website
Your comments*
(No HTML allowed)
:-) :-D :biggrin: :-P ;-) 8-) :-( :mad: |-| :oops: :-/ :-| :roll:
bold italic quote code
Code* captcha Enter the code you see in the image
* required fields