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Snake files defamation suit on behalf of all reptiles

Filed under: Humour and Nonsense by Hari
Posted on Thu, Apr 29, 2010 at 13:51 IST (last updated: Thu, Apr 29, 2010 @ 14:00 IST)

Papa Hari News Service

A snake, a full-grown adult male of the Naja Naja (Indian Cobra) family, which claimed that human beings potrayed reptiles as evil, slimy and undesirable creatures in movies and the media today took the exceptional step of filing a defamation suit on behalf of the entire reptile family in the Papa Hari High Court of Justice. Talking, or rather hissing to news reporters, the snake claimed that the portrayal of snakes in movies amounted to racial discrimination and bias.

"Why are we portrayed as evil and hss... ssslimy?" hissed he, "I hssss.. sssee thissss as defamatory and an insstance of racial dissss-crimination."

A cartoon snake of dubious origin grinning foolishly at the cameraMeanwhile crocodiles and other members of the broad family of reptiles came out in open support of the aforementioned snake. "At least snakes have an aura of mystery about them," complained the croc, "But crocodiles are portrayed as outright despicable and nasty with no redeeming qualities whatsoever. This has to stop!"

Many television and movie producers were shocked at this development and were quick to dismiss the racial discrimination charge. "How can we discriminate racially against snakes and other reptiles. On what basis is the charge made? Skin colour or texture? Lack of warmth of blood? Or what? Let them go lay their blooming eggs!" screamed a movie producer whose recent movie featured a haunted house and a snake which was supposed to stalk and terrorize any inhabitant of the place.

"It's well known that snakes are timid and docile creatures," said a prominent animal rights activist, "We should embrace them as members of Nature's family!" When asked whether this was sound and prudent advice, the activist hastily added, "I meant figuratively, not literally! You don't want to harm a snake by hugging it." When pointed out that there was a good chance that the snake might attack or bite the person indulging in such an activity the activist pondered for a while and retorted, "Oh, that too!"

Meanwhile a low budget children's magazine which features such prominent characters as Rajashekhar Snake, Kandaswamy Monkey, Ezhumalai Lion and Murugan Crocodile quickly decided to change all its animal characters into human beings; not a difficult task since the aforementioned animals were attributed human qualities in the first place. "We simply dropped the animal references from the character names. The rest of the story is left unchanged. Only somebody has to redraw all the characters", said the editor of the magazine, sighing as one who gives up a long running tradition.

"Simply put, snakes don't hunt down human beings for the fun of it, nor do they seek revenge or smell out clothes and attack its owner; they cannot hear and listen to instructions from the sorcerer and so on and so forth," said the lawyer representing the snake, in a vague reference to a popular Tamil daily soap where such events as bulls attacking people specifically wearing red clothes and snakes being set on a scent of a human being from their clothes and relentlessly hunting down the owner of the clothes were recent storylines. "If you leave them alone, they just mind their own business."

In the meantime, the snake also assured that they were launching a new educational forum to remove misconceptions and other incorrect notions about snakes in general. When pointed out that such channels as National Geographic, Animal Planet and Discovery already provided such education, the snake merely hissed in derision.

3 comment(s)

  1. Public prosecutor loggy:
    your honour, Ssssnakes are also shown in moviessss as good friend.
    Here isssss the pure evidence i produsss before you
    see how snakes are shown, that they are how friendly to human beings

    Comment by Logesh (visitor) on Thu, Apr 29, 2010 @ 15:05 IST #
  2. Loggy :biggrin:

    By the way, you are the defendant's counsel and this is not a criminal case. :)

    Comment by Hari (blog owner) on Thu, Apr 29, 2010 @ 15:24 IST #
  3. oh ssssarry ur honour..
    i'm acting lawyer :biggrin:

    Comment by Logesh (visitor) on Thu, Apr 29, 2010 @ 16:01 IST #

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