Humour, comics, tech, law, software, reviews, essays, articles and HOWTOs intermingled with random philosophy now and then
Posted on Fri, Mar 2, 2007 at 11:32 IST (last updated: Fri, May 29, 2009 @ 21:25 IST)
Here's my next cartoon corner. Please write your own bio for this character along the lines of previous cartoons and submit them in the comments section. Let your imagination run wild.
I've tentatively named this character "Blade" Mani
, but feel free to invent your own name for his bio.
Somehow this face scares the creator himself.
Humour and Nonsense by
Posted on Tue, Feb 27, 2007 at 15:04 IST (last updated: Wed, Sep 26, 2007 @ 14:50 IST)
Here's a demo joke. Feel free to use this joke as much as you wish (license expires after 30 days). After the end of 30 days, you must either stop sharing the joke with others or purchase the full joke to get maximum enjoyment.
Joke (please read aloud):
Ladies and gentlemen,
Please listen to me carefully. This is a joke. It is the greatest, most humourous joke in the whole wide world. In fact, this joke is so great that it is guaranteed to make you laugh within 30 seconds of listening to it/reading it with a full refund option if you aren't able to work up a laugh within a period of 7 days. You can use this joke for a full thirty-day period from the time you first read it, to make other people laugh, after which you must purchase the full version. This is the actual joke, ladies and gentlemen. Do enjoy it: Once, there were two blondes walking along the road...
To get the rest of the joke, please pay $5.99 through PayPal or credit card to Jokers Corporation Pvt. Ltd. Hope you enjoyed the joke. Please feel free to share this demo joke with your friends. You aren't allowed to share the full version of the joke in public without a premium license. Accessibility options:
You may purchase a complete explanation of the joke in simple terms (for people handicapped by a poor sense of humour) for an additional per-joke fee of $1.99.
Terms and conditions apply for sharing the full joke: please read the EULA accompanying the joke to get a real laugh. Hope you have a good day!
P.S: You may not use this joke template to create your own demo jokes. Please contact the owner of the template for written permission for use with your own jokes. This joke created with: Joke Maker Pro 3.5 priced at $399.99 $329.99 only from Papa Hari Software (shrink-wrapped box with a complete set of FREE joke templates).
Bits and Bytes by
Posted on Thu, Feb 22, 2007 at 21:11 IST (last updated: Wed, Jul 16, 2008 @ 20:47 IST)
I normally don't post to highlight any particular website, but this one was too good not to share with my regular readers. Those who enjoy BBSpot will definitely want to take a look at this one too.
The straight-laced satire is just too much to digest in one attempt. I simply couldn't control my laughter enough to read continuously for 30 seconds. :lol:
Son of Bosey
I've added it to my sidebar as well.
Humour and Nonsense by
Posted on Mon, Feb 19, 2007 at 13:13 IST (last updated: Thu, Oct 30, 2008 @ 08:07 IST)
A few important issues have been churning in my mind of late. I'd like to share some of them here.
Firstly, I've been reading a lot of stuff about Vista recently: things such as "10 reasons why you should not upgrade to Vista." It seems to be the current fad. I read one such article in a tech magazine just recently. Much as I appreciate such efforts, I think they have missed one excellent reason why you cannot
upgrade to Vista at present, even if you wanted to - you
don't happen to be a personal computing device. I don't think technology has advanced to that extent where Microsoft can start implanting Operating Systems into their customers. Although the initial technological hurdle might be overcome some time in the future, a bigger obstacle might be the fact that the average human being would never have enough memory or graphics processing capability to run Vista without a serious DNA upgrade (deoxyribonucleic acid, not
distributed interNet application). I always like to get things straight in these matters. Maybe they will offer brain patches in the near future to make this possible, but that's pure speculation.
Secondly, I object to the choice of phrase "free as in beer" commonly used in the FOSS community to describe software which has no price tag attached to it. It makes several broad assumptions and doesn't take into account the following considerations which render the idea of free beer undesirable or unacceptable:
- The person who is offered the free beer is a teetotaler and never consumes alcoholic beverages in his/her life either on principle or due to circumstances,
- the condition of the person's stomach at the moment the offer is made:
- It might be full after the intake of a meal and may not be physically able to accommodate any more liquid or solid food,
- It might be in a state of sickness (diarrhoea or the other thing) which temporarily prevents the subject from consuming any kind of nourishment or,
- the personal preference of the drinker: he/she might prefer a different kind of alcoholic beverage (distilled rather than brewed, for instance) and so on.
I have often used the term myself without understanding its implications and I regret it now after this deeper analysis. "Free as in lemonade" would seem have a broader scope at first, but since I don't have any statistics regarding the consumption of free lemonade around the world and the phrase would be subject to similar conditions/restrictions, I think "free as in a gift received" would be a safer alternative. Of course taking into consideration that most people don't pay for the gifts they receive.
Finally I'd like to leave you with this thought:
What did one blonde say to another?
(in case you're still trying to figure it out, no... it isn't a joke: I never said it was one
I'll stop this braindump before you start searching around for rotten tomatoes
Humour and Nonsense by
Posted on Sat, Feb 17, 2007 at 21:14 IST (last updated: Wed, Sep 26, 2007 @ 14:53 IST)
Papa Hari has been busy sorting out the letters he receives each week from distressed people all around the world. Some of the letters carry heart-wrenching tales of ordinary people who are faced with the most extraordinary crisises in their lives which bring out the best in them. Here is the letter of the week - a tale of extraordinary courage from a young man (let's called him Mr.
. He showed the way to all young people with similar problems and acts as a shining light in a world filled with despair and misery.
From Mr. B
Dear Papa Hari,
I was once faced with this grave crisis in my life. A long time ago I was the proud owner of a pencil
. This pencil was one in a box full of pencils. The brand is irrelevant in the larger context of that incident. Suffice to say that it was a reputed brand. The real trouble started when I first started sharpening this pencil. To my horror, the tip broke! It came as a shock to me when it did. The mutilated image of that pencil remains as a deep scar in my memory to this day. All that I'd worked for - to get a sharpened pencil fit for using in my drawing class - came to naught in one instant of insanity. Maybe it was my fault. Maybe I used the wrong kind of sharpener
. Maybe I just didn't concentrate enough. It doesn't matter. But when the tip did break, it hit me with a force of a gale that it wasn't the price of the pencil at all - it was the feeling of utter desolation created by that breakage. I vaguely remember crying and being led out of the classroom by a few friends. I had only one predominant thought at that moment: nothing
could ever bring that tip back to life. Sure, I eventually sharpened it all over again, but my life was never the same when I realized that the original tip was lost forever and that pencil had shrunk by half a centimetre and could never attain its original heights - forever. However, life went on and that pencil continued serving me for a good while longer. Today is the tenth anniversary of that pencil's horrible accident with the sharpener. To blame that sharpener was my first reaction, but over time I've learnt to forgive and forget. Every year, on this emotional day, I take out a new pencil and sharpen it with great care to ensure that the tip doesn't break. I was proud when I first did it and the ceremony has added a degree of fullness to my life ever since. I feel that this ceremony has helped me face the truth and come to terms with the incident. Nothing, however, can erase that memory. Ever.
This incident taught me courage and I learnt valuable lessons. I learnt from the mistakes of the past. When I next bought a box of pencils I was extra careful in using sharpeners. I became particular about the grade of pencils that I bought. I learnt all about H, 2H, B, 2B, HB
and the differences between them - the crisis turned out to be a unique learning opportunity. Your response to my first message of agony and pain on that fateful day inspired me to buy a new box. Before that, I never imagined that I would ever be able to buy another box of pencils. Today a milestone has been reached. Ten years! It's been a bittersweet journey.
After all these years, I would like to thank you for your help, Papa Hari. Thanks a lot for your help in getting over this loss. It has made a difference in my life. Today I have dedicated my life to creating better pencils to prevent others from going through the same trauma that I once did. Please share this message with your readers and spread the word. In Pencil is Hope! A tip might be broken, but the pencil lives forever!
Papa Hari notes:
I'm glad that this story had a happy ending. In spite of the life-changing loss, Mr. B moved on and became the assistant production manager in a successful pencil manufacturing firm soon afterwards. Today he is the owner of a large pencil factory and dedicates his life to making better pencils so as to prevent others from undergoing the same terrible experience that he once faced in his life.
Tutorials and HOWTOs by
Posted on Wed, Feb 14, 2007 at 21:32 IST (last updated: Sun, May 10, 2009 @ 16:42 IST)
The Old Photo effect is a really cool script provided by GIMP
. It's really a pretty simple effect but I thought I should record the steps necessary to get the result desired. There might be other ways of achieving a similar effect, but the tutorial below is a result of something I learned on my own.
Here's the original image I worked with
Take any image you wish and create a copy of it. Then,
- Go to the Filter -> Artistic -> Photocopy. Play around with it until you get this kind of a result:
My settings for the effect were:
Mask radius: 41.67, Sharpness: 0.962, Percent black: 0.595, Percent white: 0.278.
Of course, you might want to vary this, depending on the image you use and the contrast you wish to obtain in the end.
- Then apply the Script-Fu -> Decor -> Old Photo effect. Have a 0 border and select the Defocus and Sepia effects only. Don't select Mottle. Here's the result:
- To get a deeper shade (and older effect) apply the same Old Photo script again, but this time without selecting defocus. Only choose Sepia again. You should get something like this:
- Now for some added effects. Choose Script Fu -> Decor -> Coffee Stain. You should play around with it until you get the required effect and you won't get the same effect each time. So keep trying it till you get that perfect stain. Here's my try:
- Now to get a border for this photo. Choose Script Fu -> Decor -> Round Corners. I chose the settings:
Edge Radius: 2, Shadow offset x: 2, Shadow offset y: 2, Blur Radius: 4.
And here's the effect I got by applying the steps (actually the coffee stain on this particular attempt was quite good):
Cool, ain't it?